Odd title for a food post, but I’ll explain. Recently my husband passed away from a lengthy debilitating illness. My husband, Bob, was not a formal man, nor was he a serious man, so when we gathered to remember him my daughter and I wanted to be sure we reflected his humor and spirit by honoring his favorite foods and sharing some of our favorite pictures and stories about Bob.
I of course, was responsible for the food part, and Claire handled everything else. We made the celebration an open house so people could stop by whenever worked best for them. Bob was raised Catholic, and I am Greek Orthodox and both religions have many customs and traditions around funerals, meaning that they happen within a week (ideally 3 days), of passing. But that’s not what Bob wanted. He actually didn’t want anything, but those of us who knew him and loved him wanted and needed an opportunity to have a sendoff. While Claire was home for winter break we planned the celebration.
Designing a Bob approved menu was easy. Bob was a straight forward meat and potatoes kind of guy. I made Celery Sticks with Gorgonzola Dip, Mini Hamburgers with Caramelized Onions and Hoisin Sauce, Cornmeal Waffles with Fried Chicken and Maple Butter, Butterscotch Pudding, German Chocolate Cake, and lastly old-fashioned Vanilla Cupcakes with Vanilla Frosting. It was no surprise to me that a shopping list for a Bob party only had two vegetables on it, celery and onions. In over 30 years of marriage I was never able to get him to eat vegetables.
We invited guests to bring beer, Bob’s alcoholic beverage of choice, and any food they’d like to bring. We all laughed when one person showed up with doughnuts and Snickers, absolutely a Bob favorite. And I was deeply touched when my cousin Teri showed up with Metaxa and Kolyva, and her sister Maria with my mother’s recipe for Paximathia.
In the Greek tradition, a grain dish called Kolyva is created and served at funerals. It consists of wheat berries, raisins, nuts, and sugar and is shaped into a kind of pillow and then liberally dusted with powdered sugar. The deceased initials are spelled out in candy coated almonds. The Kolyva is presented to the priest at the funeral for a blessing and then is served to the entire congregation as they leave the church. I love Kolyva, think of it as a soft chewy granola. Since my father was a cantor at the church and sang many funerals I would always ask him to bring some home to me. Teri is the only relative I know of who makes it now and hers is really beautifully prepared and delicious.
When guests arrive at the post funeral feast they are given a shot of brandy (Metaxa) and there’s a platter of paximathia for those who want to dip the paximathia into the brandy. Since Greek funerals can go on for hours it’s completely understandable why one wants to brace themselves with some brandy and cookies once it’s over. Having these traditions at a remembrance for Bob spoke to my soul. Thank you Teri and Maria!
And now to the title of the post. Bob LOVED many sitcoms; Mary Tyler Moor was at the top of the list. One of his favorite episodes is the one where Chuckles the Clown dies. The episode is called, “Chuckles Bites the Dust”. During the eulogy Mary can’t stop laughing, completely loses it when the phrase a little song, a little dance, a little seltzer down the pants is uttered, as did Bob when he saw the show. He always said that was the phrase he wanted everyone to toast him with. So, here’s to Bob, one last toast, wherever you are, I hope you’re laughing!
